Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i've created a new STD.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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