But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
