Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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