You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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