Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
