dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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