the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
