And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
