This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
now i know why i became what i already was.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
