Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
