He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
