My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
