SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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