dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
