told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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