He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
