my soul wont recognize me after tonight
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
