I think im going to throw up on grandma
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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