So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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