If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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