You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
