my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
