i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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