The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
so much tequila, so little girl.
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