She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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