i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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