forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
