Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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