We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
