new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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