Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
