TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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