He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
