guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
