he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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