She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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