He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
