I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
