Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Fuck appropriateness.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
