new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They took my balls.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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