To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
