I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
