the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
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