This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
