Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
