she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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