guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
