My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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