Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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