Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
